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Kaufmann was always a bit of an enigma, as I simply couldn't decide whether I liked him or not. I remember the most boring science lessons he used to give when I was 9, but he also used to take us out of the school for (budget) field trips. I recall once he took us all down to Scratby beach, to get seawater samples for some dumb-assed experiment to do with evaporation.

Kaufman had a speciality weapon in the fight against boys, his famous gym shoe "Jasper". This dreaded shoe had been trimmed, so that only the sole was left.

Anyone who was taught by this human impersonator will remember such phrases as "Oh dear, how sad, never mind." and "Do the sign of the divot." All delivered in an unplacable US accent. I have no idea where he is now, and can only assume that he returned to his home planet.